Oct 22
Creepy…
Defense counsel was giving his summation in a case involving a client who had been charged with murdering his wife, even though her body had never been found. In an attempt to steer the jurors’ minds toward reasonable doubt, the defense attorney stated that the defendant’s wife may not even be dead. He stretched his arm toward the door and said “why she may even walk through those doors right now!”
The jurors, as well as most everyone else, looked toward the doors as if expecting her to burst through them. The jury then realized how much sense the defence attorney was making. How could they possibly prosecute this man if there was no body and very little evidence?
When it was time for the proecution to speak, the prosecution attorney rose from his seat behind the table, he too gestured towards the courtroom doors. He looked the jurors in the eye and began to speak: “Every head in this courtroom turned toward that door just now — every head except one, that of the defendant. He didn’t bother to look because he knows she’s not going to walk through that door. He killed her.”
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Remember those jelly-bracelets from the 80’s? They’re back and now they’re being used to advertise and/or earn sex.
The colors of the bracelets worn advertises what the wearer is willing to do, and in a game called “Snap” tearing off the appropriate bracelet will earn you the corresponding sexual favor.
Yellow: hugging
Purple: kissing
Red: lap dance
Blue: oral sex
Black: intercourse
People will believe anything if they want to avoid pregancy…
You can’t get pregnant if it’s your first time.
Jumping up and down immediately after intercourse will prevent conception.
Douching with Coca-Cola or 7-Up will kill whatever sperm the process doesn’t wash away.
It’s impossible to get pregnant if you have sex during your period.
After intercourse, a hot bath or a heating pad on the stomach prevents conception.
As long as neither party takes off their underpants, no babies will result.
Taking 20 Aspirin right after will halt conception from taking place.
Provided you do it standing up or with the girl on top, the sperm will never reach the egg.
As long as he pulls out before he ejaculates, no sperm will be loosed inside the girl.
Sneezing after sex prevents pregnancy.
You cannot get pregnant if you have sex in a chlorinated swimming pool.
…Or if they really want to get pregnant…
A woman can get pregnant only one day per cycle.
A woman should wait at least 3 months after stopping birth control pills before trying to conceive.
Orgasms cause women to release eggs.
Men should abstain until midcycle to increase the likelihood of conception.
A woman is more likely to become pregnant if the couple adopts a child.
The back seat of a ‘57 Chevy improves the odds of getting pregnant.
Coitus at the tops of tall buildings to increase gravity as you lie head-down increases your chance of becoming pregnant.
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