I. Thou shalt get out before the sun rises

II. Thou shalt scream my name often

III. Thou shouldest never ask “can we see each other from now on?”

IV If someone cometh over whilst thou art here, thou art my cousin from out of town.

V. Thou shalt refrain from referring to our activities as “love making.” Read more

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror –
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg
cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. Read more

1. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.
2. It’s considered poor taste to take a cooler to church.
3. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.
4. Even if you’re certain that you are included in the will, it is still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home.

DINING OUT

Avoid throwing bones and food scraps on the floor as the restaurant may not have dogs.

ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME Read more